From The Heart

“People change..” These past few months this very simple truth became one of my guiding principles. As they say, the only constant thing in this world is change. Nobody really knows what will happen tomorrow or what we will become several days, months or years from now. But one thing is for sure – as we live our days here on earth changes will always happen to us whether we are aware of it or not. Changes are good if it is for our betterment and of the people around us. But as we know changes can also be harmful if we do not recognize the reasons behind our transformation.

In my part, I know that there have been so many changes, inside and out. Mostly those changes occurred because my surroundings changed, the people in it changed. And so I decided that I have to go with the flow because if not, I will be left out. If not, I will just hurt myself. Recently, I realized that there are so many changes that are beyond my control. Yet, there are still moments when I ask myself if that is really the way it should be? It is so heartrending to reflect that even your best friend can be just a friend, your special someone can be just someone, and the person who always stays with and listens to you are somehow busy running their time because there have been changes in their lives as well.

Sometimes we are not conscious of the changes that are happening to us. And sometimes we try not to discern those changes because we are afraid of what we may discover in the end of the tunnel. Maybe at this point, I am still uncertain to go further in the tunnel because I am not yet ready to face whatever it is that I will unravel at its end.

Changes also have many faces. It can make you long for a friend. And at this juncture I terribly miss a dear one. Being with him is not actually what I miss for I know that so much have changed in his routines. More than that, it is the time when he listens to my little adventures in life, whether I am looking at the full moon tonight or what my dreams were last night. I miss those moments when we exchange accounts about petty things that always make us laugh. I long for our conversations of the past, the present and the future, of almost everything that comes to our mind. No matter how senseless or how sensitive our topics are, sharing my thoughts and experiences with him is at all times very heartwarming. Now, I yearn to tell him my stories again and feel his care, his presence.

I am sure there are reasons why we are what we are now. But whatever they are, I hope we really still have each other…