Mission Impossible...

I already set an ultimatum to myself – I should end the dilemma that is haunting me for quite some time now. I know it would really be a challenge and a struggle for me yet I also understand that it is the best thing to do.

But in spite of my determination to go on with it, there are still so many questions that keep on popping up in my mind. I would be the greatest pretender if I would not admit that I am scared of the possible consequences of what I am going to divulge. But I also know that doing it will give me the peace I very much desire for quite long. It will grant me freedom from what is not real.

If it will not turn good, I will still be thankful that at least I will be able to bare it all, for its been inside me and consuming half of my being for so long. Also, it will imply one thing, that is, I am right from the very beginning, that I just made myself believe in everything that I thought is really there. It will substantiate the very reality that I am eluding from the start of this journey.

Doing it doesn’t mean giving up everything. I just know that I have to act right now before it will be too late for me. I just realized I still have a life of my own to run and now I want to feel everyday of it. I want to feel alive again!